In Amsterdream

Last night I had
a lucid dream.



The last lucid dream I remember involved me, I, Tybalt, running
and as I ran and realized that I was dreaming
I fulfilled my previously stated wish that if I was to ever have a lucid dream I would use it to fly.

And I did. Mission accomplished. So. I restated my mission statement.
The next time I was to have a lucid dream I would use it to have unrealfreakoutsex.

Last night I had
a lucid dream



I was walking the streets of Amsterdam. There was a woman dressed in black with a black hat and I was following her.

Maybe she wasn't dressed like that. Maybe I'm just inventing that because I just saw a woman in the produce section an hour ago wearing tall black boots, an above the knees black skirt, a black coat, and black hair under a black hat. Maybe she was the woman in my dream. Maybe I should have followed her.

Last night I had
a lucid dream



I was walking the streets of Amsterdam. There was a woman in black wearing a black hat and I was following her. I don't know why.

She came to an intersection, studied some signs and turned right. I came to the intersection and contemplated whether I should keep following her. I had no reason to follow her and embarassment and possibly trouble were the only possible outcomes of this course of action. I considered abandoning my course and floating away. No harm; no foul. She could not have seen me on account of the brim of her hat. I was never in line to be in the reflection of a shop window.

However, I'm sure the worst that could have happened is that she would have been slightly annoyed because women like her, they are constantly being followed.

pause to consider. was she an agent?

I have had several run-ins with the Dream Police. Any time that I have been even on the brink of lucidity, officers of the Dream Police appear to thwart my awareness. I know, I know this all sounds kind of "The Matrix" blah, blah, blah... what can I say. It's true.

I have a technique that I have not firmly committed too otherwise I'm sure my lucid state would be mastered by now. The technique is to ask myself many times a day "Is this a dream?" and to answer the question. The theory is that if you commit to this technique enough times in waking life, then you will repeat it in dreaming life...

The one time that this happened in dreamtime I asked the question "is this a dream" but before i could answer... an undercover officer of the Dream Police appeared reading a newspaper at the next table in the cafe. She tricked me into not asking the question of myself but of asking it of her. I kept asking "is this a dream? is this a dream? is this a dream?" but she ignored me and kept on reading her newspaper.

The function of the Dream Police is to keep me from acheiving Lucidity.

It had never occured to me that there might be other agents out there working counter to the oppression... working towards my interest.

The woman in the black hat was leading me. Of course she knew I was following her... she was leading me to the intersection.


At that intersection, I saw a sign a metal plaque mounted on a stone wall that said
"nextfest
international"

When I saw this, I knew it was some other kind of nextfest... some kind of... fashion syndicate or... car advertisers or some such bullshit...

... But I knew this. If she was to confront me on following her, then I could claim I was only trying to find nextfest.

So I continued to follow the woman in the black hat. Down the secret street. Into the revolving doors of a skyscraper. She stepped through elevator doors. My elevator was small... large enough only for one person.

When I got off the elevator on the nextfest international floor at nextfest international reception i was greeted by a loopy lady who i whispered my introduction to. i told her who i was. and why i was there. she led me down a hall. we laughed. she opened a door. i entered it.


And then I was in a car with this dude who just wouldn't stop talking wouldn't stop moving he was a mover and he could shake it and he was connected and he had friends and it was a night without streetlights and we drove to bars and we played pool and we drank tall glasses of golden beer and there was lots of laughing and he told me his lifestory and ... I knew he wasn't getting it right. This story he was telling me about having lived here all his life and the cars that we were jumping into and the boys and his life of crime... that wasn't true.

And this girl that I met in the bar while he was fencing some stolen goods... she... I knew her from some other place. She wasn't royally born and sneaking out of the castle for some night of blues. That wasn't right.

Because she's Kailin See. And he's Jeff Halaby.
And Jeff. I know it's you man. I know you're Jeff Halaby just playing the part of some good time charlie and Kailin's just running around playing the role of the barefoot princess because this is all a dream man. I'm dreaming.
You're Jeff.
She's Kailin.
It's all cool. I understand.
You're Jeff... which means that I'm dreaming.

Cool.

And we were just standing at the backside of the palace on the lawn... a dutch palace in Washington D.C. ... much like Buckingham Palace... a non-descript palace. ...

So. I told them.

But I didn't tell them that I wanted to have the most unrealfreakoutsex. It just didn't seem to be the right place. The right time. The right people.

But. I told them.

I told them. That this was a dream. And that. They could do. Whatever they wanted to because. This was. Just a dream. And that I know it. Is a dream. Because you are. Jeff and. You are. Kailin. But you're not Jeff and Kailin. You are figments. You are not Jeff and Kailin at all so don't think you are and you. Can do. Whatever you want. To me.

How passive aggressive. What inhibition! I was aware of my state of the freedom to do anything to go anywhere to begin again and create whatever! Whatever! Whatever!

But I didn't. Because... why? Because I did not want Jeff and Kailin to think less of me? In a sense, yes. In a sense. In a sense. In essence. Innocence. Incensed. Incense. Incest. Insist. Insisted. Assisted. Assessed...

Mostly it was because I think, that Lucid Dreaming is a skill. It is an amoral art that must be practiced carefully. It's like a drug. One should respect it and I knew not to dive without knowing how to drive. The woman in the black hat had led me to a number of doors that led me to an opening of my perception... if I had discounted the experience that led me to that place. If I had wiped out the night and Jeff and Kailin and the car and the bar and all else just so that I could get hot rip pull claw blood skull rock stick indulge in sexual fantasy, then I highly doubt the woman in the black hat would reveal herself to me again.

So. I instructed Jeff and Kailin to do as they will.

And they threw snowballs at me. Hard ones. They were aiming for my testicles.

Jerks. When I see them next... next... next